Several years ago, I heard a true story of two sister missionaries
in Louisiana. One day while they were tracting, they saw something fall
from a tree approximately two residences away from them.
“It’s
a bat,” one said.
To
which her companion replied, “No, it’s not. It’s a snake.”
Back
and forth the Sisters quarreled until they finally decided to discontinue the
fight, step away from their current positions, and approach the place where it
had fallen so they could get another, better view. Only then did they learn who
was right.
As both a piano teacher and a mother of a sometimes reluctant
piano student, these same three principles have helped me encourage both my
students and my child to practice when we have bumped into periods of practice
resistance. And each time I have utilized them, I’ve kept two of my most
important, musical teaching/parental goals: one, my student (or child) and I
have retained open levels of communication, and two, they have eventually
regained their own desires to practice.
Principle one, discontinue the fight. Just
as the Sisters had to stop bickering before they could effectively progress,
so, too, must parents and children avoid contention so that the child’s
learning can move forward. Music has the innate ability to lift hearts and
soothe emotions; it can—and should—feed the soul. That means parents will be
most effective if they first refuse to turn a child’s practice sessions into a
battleground. The best way to do this is to establish practice guidelines
before the student begins lessons so that practice becomes non-negotiable.
However, if practicing disputes do arise; further student rebellion can be
avoided by simply asking your student why he doesn’t want to practice.
Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like the piece his teacher has assigned him.
Maybe he feels the piece is too difficult. Maybe he has a personality conflict
with his teacher. Or maybe he just had a bad day or is too tired. Only after
you discover his reason can you then find a suitable solution.
Second, step away. One
of the benefits the two missionaries received from following this principal was
they physically removed themselves from their embattled positions. It can
provide the same benefit to your music student. Learning an instrument demands
hard work and dedication, and just like any other “work,” can be refreshed and
even improved by getting away from it; i.e., taking a short, “break.” One
effective break is to divide practice time into two or three smaller sessions,
such as practicing half the required pieces or minutes before school and the
other half after school. Another is to occasionally turn your student’s
practicing time into “game” or “variation” time. Consider these ideas:
· Have a family
practice/talent show or play “American Idol,” with every family member taking
turns practicing her instrument while the others “judge.”
· Adapt board games by
turning the instructions on squares to challenging musical tasks. Or play
television games like “Hollywood Squares” or “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
with musical questions and terms. There are also several musical games you can
purchase in music stores or over the internet.
· Make or purchase
flashcards. They can be a fun way to review notes and musical terms; and if you
“double” them, you can turn them into a matching game.
· Put each of your student’s
practicing assignments on individual pieces of paper and have her “fish” her
next task from a “hat.” This option is even more effective if the parent takes
a practice turn, too.
· Let your child roll dice or
pull a number from a bowl to see how many times she will practice her next
piece.
· Offer rewards. Perhaps a
candy corn, an M&M, or an apple slice after correctly playing one song. Or
keep a weekly tally and exchange, say 20 marks, into a larger reward. Favorite
activities are also great motivators.
Principle three, assess the situation from another viewpoint. The way the missionaries
did this was to walk to where they’d seen the creature fall from the tree.
Sometimes this is what students need to do, too; they need to see their
“creature”—their practicing—from an altered perspective. I’ve listed some
applicable, view-changing techniques below.
· Make up words or stories to
music they believe is “boring.”
· Provide opportunities for
your student to perform, other than at recitals. Students tend to rise to the
challenge when they know they have an upcoming performance.
· Tape record your student’s
pieces so they can not only share them with others but also be the audience of
their own work.
· With the help of your
student’s teacher, purchase or provide level appropriate “fun” music—pieces
they want to play but aren’t required to practice—and allow them a special
session of playing only what they want to play.
· Occasionally suggest they
“modify” their pieces by playing the legato sections staccato, increasing or
decreasing the tempo, and/or tweaking the dynamic markings.
· Let your student be the
teacher. Allow him to teach you principles such as how to find “C” on the piano
or how to tell the difference between forte and moderato.
More advanced students can show you how to distinguish between the major and
minor scales or what an inversion is.
· Have your student keep a
list of new skills he’s acquired or of all the pieces he’s learned (include the
title and the composer). This will not only provide him with a sense of
accomplishment but also encourage him to add to that list by practicing.
Last but not definitely not least, allow yourself time to notice
the truth—the beauty—of what your student has accomplished. When my friend and
her companion finally discovered what had truly fallen from the tree, they
marveled. Why? Because it was a snake with a bat in its mouth. Both Sisters had
been correct, and both suddenly realized they needed each other’s perspective
in order to see the whole picture.
So it is with our children. They need our viewpoints and our
guidance to encourage, challenge, and praise them as they struggle to learn a
musical instrument, but most of all, they need us to help them cherish the
unique beauty and inspiration they are learning to create through their
instrument.
And when they find that joy, we, their parents, have all we
need.
Check below for further practice tips.
Check below for further practice tips.
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